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The Not So Holy

When I was 19 (21 now), I used to work at a fine-dining restaurant in my area, and Sundays were ALWAYS the absolute worst. While I’ve had quite a few bad experiences serving on Sundays, I’m going to go ahead and share the worst one.

A large group of couples (about 20 people, ages ranging from young 20s to late 40s) came in for lunch dressed in their Sunday best. When I first tried to give my whole welcome spiel (Welcome to the establishment, our specials, getting drink orders, etc), one of the older women in the group held up her hand and told me to come back in 5 minutes, because they were trying to talk. Fair enough. I came back 5 minutes later as requested and was then chastised for “taking so long to come to the table” by the same woman who originally sent me away. At this point, I knew it was going to be a disaster, but I held my tongue, smiled, offered an apology, and proceeded to take drink orders. Getting drink orders for this table was a nightmarish ordeal that took about 20 minutes. Apparently the women were against drinking alochol on Sundays, but some of the men weren’t, so they proceeded to argue and try to involve me in the argument. Once the whole thing was straightened out and I returned with all of the drinks, I proceeded to take orders (which was also a nightmare because of the modifications). At some point, one of the younger women noticed that her husband had been staring at my chest for quite a while, and proceeded to berate him for doing so, and also berated me for having “such a large chest” and informed me that I should “do something about them so that men don’t stare.” Keep in mind that my shirt was completely buttoned all the way to the top and absolutely NO cleavage was showing. I apologized anyway and went to go put in their order while trying not to get upset over this woman’s comments. As I made my way back to the table to remove appetizer plates and refill drinks, the women were whispering to each other and glaring at me the entire time, and while they had been polite but demanding before, they were just flatout rude. They started snapping their fingers to get my attention, and made comments about how I must be incompetent because it was taking me more than 5 minutes to refill all 20 drinks, and remove the dishes of 20 people from the table. When I brought out their food and started doling it out to each person, one of the older gentlemen apparently felt that it would be appropriate to pinch my butt, which then started another fight between him and his wife, but also between all of the women and me. 4 of them proceeded to call me a slut, while the others said I was too incompetent to do my job correctly, and that I was giving off “sexual vibes” to the men.

I know that some female servers flirt with the male member of the couple in hopes of getting a higher tip, but I’ve never done so. I addressed everyone at the table as “sir” or ma’am”, made sure not to make any physical contact with any of the males when it wasn’t absolutely necessary to do so, and I made sure to smile and compliment each of the women’s outfits.

After they finished insulting me, they demanded that I bring my manager to the table, which I did. They (the women) all aired their complaints about my service and appearance, and demanded that my manager comp their meals. My manager made no effort to defend me (despite telling me multiple times previously that I was the best server they had, and that they were constantly having people write letters or call to tell them what a wonderful server I was) and comped their meals. After I finished boxing everything up (they’d demanded to just take everything to go because I’d apparently ruined their meal), I went to go clean up the table. At that point, I wasn’t expecting a tip, but I also didn’t expect any of the nasty notes (calling me a whore, slut, telling me I’m ugly and too stupid to do anything besides serving, that I was incompetent, that I was going to hell, etc.) from the women. Some of them even finished off their notes by stating that they’d “pray for me to better myself.” But the icing on the cake? The notes from the husbands of 3 of the women who left their phone numbers for me. This was the experience that ended it for me. In tears, I collected all of the notes, finished clearing up the table, went to my manger and showed him the notes, and told him that I quit, and that I wouldn’t be coming back.

I’m not sure that I’ll ever take a serving job again, but if I do, I’m going to find a restaurant that’s not open on Sundays. It’s not worth the abuse, the condescending attitudes, and the terrible tips (religious tracts, bible verses, notes that they’ll pray for me), that you get when serving on Sundays.

The worst thing about it? I’m a Christian. I go to church. I do community service, I give offering, I’m saving myself until marriage. I’m doing all of the things that I’m supposed to do, and it’s just disgusting to see that my fellow Christians could behave so horribly. My ex-coworkers were always saying that if that’s how Christians acted, they wanted no part of Christianity, and I couldn’t even blame them. Too many Christians act self-righteous when they leave church on Sundays. They ask if we believe in God, and they condemn us for working on Sunday, but they’re failing to realize that if it weren’t for THEM coming in, none of us would be there.

the worst

This morning the first thing i had to do is clean the whole house. It is on my schedule. Then i needed to go to my work that starts at 10:00. My boss tells me that i need to do this project thing do the next day. How do i have time to do this when i need to take care of my two twins that are still babies!!!! I leave a babysitter to take of them when i am at work. Now i need to be super mommy and save the day like i always do. So i did the project that day while put the babies on my lap. It was hard but i did it.

Super let down

Today I got a .03% tip from a church I used to go to. The delivery service we provide is pretty extensive, and includes all the supplies needed for a buffet-style banquet and the set up can take 15-30 mins. Not that I expect 20% but I certainly didn’t think I would only get 20 dollars on a 680 dollar order from a church that I used to play guitar in the youth group band. This happens pretty much every time at churches and more often than not I leave empty handed. I would give more than 20 dollars for a pizza boy to merely drop off a ton of pizzas. I’m seriously struggling to pay bills this month because I’ve been delivering to so many churches.

Never working another Sunday

I worked as a server for 15 years while raising my children as a single mother. I made good tips, enough to keep a roof over their heads and kept them from going hungry. Every Sunday my children and I were in church and after church we always went out to eat as our one day a week treat.  I was asked to work one Sunday for a friend that was sick and thought a Sunday of church people would make some really great tips. WOW in 15 years I have never dealt with such rude, condescending, holier-than-thou people. A group of 12 which ran me to death, complaining about everything from the lack of seasoning in the food to the fact their soft drinks didn’t have enough fizz. After spending 2 hours moaning and groaning about everything they leave. It took me 20 minutes to clean up their mess and they left no tip. As I was leaving that evening I found a note on my car that started out they had noticed I didn’t wear a wedding band but had a picture of kids on my badge. Obviously to them I was a Jezebel doomed to burn in hell along with my illegitimate bastard children. These were the exact words these “Christian” people used. Since they were nice enough to leave the note on the back of their church program I made sure I was at their church the following Sunday. Long story short by the time service was over there were a lot of red faces in that congregation. Too many people leave their Christianity at church and act as if they are better than others when they eat out after service. I am a Christian and I treat all people with respect but I refused to ever work another Sunday after that experience, I even quit church for awhile all because of 12 hypocrites that call themselves Christians.

Used to be a waitress

I worked as a waitress while in high school and it IS a hard job and, yes, the Sunday church crowds were hectic! However,  I actually believe I earned my tips.  That is just it – I earned my tips. That was 35 years ago.  I tip really good when the service is really good.  I don’t think that a tip should be expected and I don’t think places of business should rely on customers to “pay their employees” to make up their wages with tips.



I was a waiter

My first paying job was as a waiter in a hotel.  We were trained to serve our diners.  Since then, I base my tips on the quality of service I receive.  I enter an establishment with a plan to leave a 25% tip.  However, a lack of, or poor, service lessens the tip.  Some of my guidelines are:  does the server make eye contact; are dishes dropped or placed on the table; does the server stop walking when items are put on the table; does the person who takes my order bring my meal; do I have to ask for refills of drinks; does the server ask who gets what instead of knowing; am I ignored until it is time to pay; am I given time to read the menu; am I given a single, cheap paper napkin; are condiments on my table refilled while I’m eating; am I asked questions with food in my mouth; does the server disappear; do I have to ask for things; are shared dished correctly portioned (4 items instead of 3 for 2 people, or 6 instead of 5 for two people; does the server have body piercings and/or excessive tattoos; is the server well groomed.


The Lounge

I work in a restaurant that has a bar and dining room that are separate from each other.  Most of the time I work in the dining room, and have started to refuse to work on Sundays because I have to be in school and work on homework and it has become a waste of time to drive to work to only leave with a measly amount of money.

So my coworker is out of town today, and my boss wanted me to work in the bar area all day today.  So, I did.  I prefer to work in the lounge in general, but especially Sundays.  People that are willing to eat in the lounge and do not worry about the judgement of dining with alcohol in their presence are generally better tippers and nicer people.  And today was the greatest Sunday I have ever worked.  Along with the newspaper article, I had positive people.  One of my tables even pointed out the article and double tipped and made me aware of it.  I greatly appreciated that.

In the past I have had people look at me and tell me to my face that they placed my tip in the offering plate at church, essentially stating that if god had determined that money to be mine it would find a way to me.  On more than one occasion I have heard someone demand that their party of 10 or more, that just came from church, ought to be seated immediately even though they have never called to see the wait time.  They will demand that they be placed at a table that is already seated or being cleaned for another party.  But most infuriatingly I have witnessed people say that they heard their preacher talk about Jesus talking about patience and then demand immediate seating in the same breath.

Personally, I hope this website takes off, because I greatly appreciate having somewhere to complain about people, but also praise the others that do well.

My favorite church-goers came in one Sunday.  A group of four came in and were mannerly, pleasant.  When I dropped the food off they asked me if there is anything that they could pray for me about.  I told them that I was actually in a really good place, but that my dad could use some positive vibes.  They were more than happy.  They maintained their manners and even tipped appropriately.

Anyway, thank you for letting me go a little crazy.

Sorry for how you were treated

I am sorry that we have the weakest among us represented on this website. There is no excuse for this kind of behavior.  If the service is bad, then the tip should reflect it, however to treat another human being in the manner that has been represented here is inexcusable.

I am concerned though that servers are not aware of their behavior as well.  I have heard them discuss this type of behavior in front of other patrons and I don’t like it.  Go in the back, scream, pitch a fit, cry, but do not lower yourself to speaking badly of others in front of other diners.

Also, do NOT expect the normal service gets the 20%.  For some reason, the folks, usually younger servers, who have grown up getting the blue ribbons for nothing, just like everyone else, being told they are special without doing nothing to be that, etc, think that they get the 20% just for showing up, taking the order and delivering drinks and the food.   I had a server the other day, bring me my food, and the first time she came back to check on me, she brought the check!   WOW!



I have attended church for the majority of my life.  With the exception of the college days, and to be honest I didn’t get up before noon so church would have been a stretch.  I was raised in church and I am active now at 40.  I would just like to say that I sincerely HOPE neither myself, my husband, or any of my church going family members has ever been disrespectful to wait staff.   If so, they should be ashamed.  We don’t eat out often on Sundays as my husband has to eat fast and immediately go to WORK.  Yes, he works on Sundays.  It is just part of his job.  I don’t understand Christians who say the Sabbath is a day of rest but go to eat somewhere knowing those people are WORKING—so they cant do it but they support a business that does.  Seems hypocritical to me.  I would also like to thanks to all wait staff on any and all days of the week.  You all are all extremely hardworking individuals.  I could not do your job.  I do not have any sort of sunny disposition.  And an extra thanks to all the servers who have cleaned up my drinks because I knock them over often.  For any servers who are interested in spirituality  (not religion),  church people are not all bad.  Visit around and check out some churches in the area.  God is love.  With no exceptions.

It’s sadly not just Servers who get abused

I was a store manager in a mall in a very religious part of town. Sundays the mall opened at noon. The after church crowd would be there starting at 11:45 staring at us through the gate- if we were lucky. If we weren’t they shook the gate.  Why? I have no idea…. the mall was very clear about opening and closing times.

The entire day consisted of the after church crowd. They would wander the store, talking to each other about how only “heathens” worked on Sundays and how it was a shame we didn’t have blue laws anymore. Then, they would take in armloads of clothes to try on and then leave  them in piles on the floor.  We called them “lid lifters” and lookyloos” .   They would let their kids run wild because “they’d been sitting for so long they just need to move” and ignore the staff when we would ask them to please watch their kids so they wouldn’t get hurt or hurt anyone else.

Sundays sales per hour were the worst of the week, and the store was destroyed, so we had to have extra help in just to keep it clean.    They were the most un-Christian people I had ever met before……..